Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Go Ahead

For anyone who is dealing with a friend who has lost a baby, or a child, here is a poem I found....

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~

I have found through going through my own pain of losing a pregnacy....of losing a baby....that the most help that anyone can give me is to allow me to talk about the baby and the loss. I have a friend who is going through a very painful loss of a sibling this year, and she says the same thing.....talking helps the most. So many people don't know what to say, so they think the best thing to do is not bring up the topic at all. Or if I bring it up, they quickly change the subject. They don't want to hurt me by contributing to the conversation. So for all you out there....if your friend has suffered a miscarriage, if they are going through a divorce, if someone close to them has died, ask them about it. Talk through your uncomfortableness and their pain. It is the best thing you can do for them!

1 comment:

  1. Wow.
    Yes. I never even told anyone but my husband, and much MUCH later, my mom and sister.